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“I couldn’t think of anything worse than being in a swimsuit around strangers!” I stated why complementing the rash decision to attend one of Aspens teammates pool party. It was a party where the parents stayed and socialized. Indulging in hot dogs and small talk (neither of which I’m keen on). As usual my Mom told me that it’s not about me, “It’s about him” and that “It’s what a parent does”. They show up even when it’s uncomfortable.
After pulling out my entire closet, my mother then told me that parents don’t even wear swimsuits to pool parties and asked if I was Bridget(from Bridget Jones Diary) If you don’t know the reference she turns up in a bunny costume to a non costume party. I went with a black knit two piece set and rockstud sandals in sweltering 86 degree heat.

All in all the pool party wasn’t that awkward. Instead I found myself wishing for a similar outdoor oasis. Autumn Blaze Maple trees draped over a Monte Carlo (did you know pool shapes have names?) shaped pool, with a right curve waterslide. I looked at the hammock strategically positioned behind the pool and thought how I would never leave if this was my back yard. Granted I grew up with a pool in my backyard but barely ever used it because my 15 year old self thought I was too fat to wear a bikini (hellooo heroine chic era). I also wished for my flat stomach at such age.
I’ve been very vocal on the difficulties of aging, I remember a family member telling me that once I turn 30 my jean shorts will have to go in the garbage. Coincidental or not I’ve rarely worn my vintage 501’s in fear of judgement. Obviously I realize the obvious bombarded on the internet: Aging is a blessing, you’re never be as young as today, 30 is the new 20 etc etc but I think it’s important to acknowledge the opposite side of the coin. Two truths can coexist. I acknowledge the privilege of growing old, yet I still deeply resent some of It’s ramifications.

Oh the naivety of laying in a sun-bed at age 18 thinking that my skin was invincible and that I’d deal with the consequences many, many years into the future. I don’t do lasers or facials and actually believe in a very “Less is more” approach for the time being, however I’ve heard wonderful things about Micro-needling and Fraxel. I also have Acne Rosacea and Melasma, so really aid on the side of caution when trying (and recommending) anything new. With that said there are a few products that I really love and use:
- Retinol anti aging daily face moisturizer: I first heard of ROC from Bethenny Frankels instagram a few years ago and since have purchased many of their products (including their barrier renew day cream, and their firming serum stick). If I could choose one product to start with it would be the moisturizer. I love to use it on my neck, chest and hands as well
2. Firming Body Cream: My hyper fixation has been to tighten the skin on my stomach. In my teenage years my belly button was perfectly vertical and now I feel like it is more horizontal. I’m not sure if this is a post pregnancy thing? (12 years ago..) or an aging thing (as of recent) but It’s definitely a deep routed insecurity. I’ve been slathering this sol de Janeiro cream on my stomach and upper thighs to try and tighten the skin.
3. La Roche-Posay Anthelios UVAir Sunscreen Serum: I only ever wore sunscreen if I was spending time on the water which I’ve realized is a mistake because you can catch sun-rays at any time (if you’re lucky at least). Some people even go as far as avoiding the sun altogether which I think is mad (seasonal depression exists for a reason) so instead of hibernating all summer, I try to just be more strategic about spending time in the sun. I use this every morning on my face, and then this spray for my body.
Unfortunately due to my Melasma I have to stay away from red light, so really rely on a good ice roller and eye patches in the morning (along with caffeine of course). All in all if you’re In the same boat as me, It’s important to give yourself grace for two contradictory opinions. You can love motherhood but dread some mandatory social interactions, or be grateful for aging yet detest saggy skin.
Well that’s it for now, I have a ton to update you on in the upcoming week or so
Xo M