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I remember when I was pregnant with my son Aspen, I waited until I was 6 months along to tell my father. Once he knew and accepted that I was going to have a baby at 22, he said that similar to my grandfather “I beat to my own drum” he wasn’t wrong. I have always been independent and unconventional, without conforming to societal norms or expectations.
Of course like most of us, I had a timeline for my life. Graduate at this age, marry by that age, have little kids running around the house making it a mess, all by the ripe age of 30 (or whatever I thought was old in my undeveloped brain). But a neat, linear path was never in my horizon. In fact my life had always been unconventional since birth. A checklist works for the average person, but for the rest of us? Life is a little bit messier, and dare I say more exciting.
Of course I’ve struggled with feeling behind. I’ve watched everyone’s life move around me, while I feel at a stand-still. Partially because I’ve been going through some health challenges for the past few years and partially because i’m terrified of change. Terrified to open up my heart, to be loved and feel loved.
I’ve watched careers thrive, people I went to high school get married and have multiple children, spending weekends in The Hamptons and holidays in St Barths. And here I am stuck in the mud. Really thick messy mud.
Somehow I missed the memo on how to keep up or maybe how to grow up.
But here’s what I’m learning: being “behind” is a myth. A construct. A timeline built on tradition, pressure, and comparison. And the truth is, the best things in life don’t always happen on schedule.
Some people find love at 22. Others at 42. Some people build a dream career straight out of college, while others pivot five times before landing where they belong. Some people buy a house, settle down, and thrive in routine. Others crave movement, change, and the unexpected.
There is no single way or right way to live life. Your life.
I remind myself daily that my journey isn’t meant to look like anyone else’s. The detours, the pauses, the slow starts—they all matter. They shape me. And in their own way, they put me exactly where I need to be. So if you’re feeling behind, take a breath. You’re not late. You’re not off track. You’re just on a path that’s yours alone. And that’s exactly where you’re supposed to be.
