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I remember a few years ago sitting in my Endroconolgosits office asking her about egg freezing. I was watching everyone’s world move around me. People getting engaged, people getting married and then people starting families. Every new picture of a newborn pinged at my heart a little. Knowing that I wanted a baby in the future and yet questioning if I would even meet someone half decent ever again. Her response was to focus on finding a partner and that we would revisit the conversation in a few years time.
We didn’t do an AMH count (where they test your egg count), talk about the mental, physical and monetary toll IVF/EGG freezing takes on your life, or go any deeper than that one conversation.
I didn’t press further or harder on the issue because I always had this deep faith (and still do) that the right person would come along at the right time and that I would get my happy ending. Picking out a ring on the 3rd floor of Tiffanys flagship, flipping through bridal magazines, walking down the isle in White Hangisi Satin Buckle Pumps that I had committed to at 22 years old in Bergdorf Goodman, and ultimately: end up with the “dream” family I had always wished for.
I believe that half of the pressure I feel is from doom-scrolling social media. We all watched Bridget marry a (very good looking) surgeon, close down streets of SoHo for her wedding party, watch her get married, move into her dream home and go through multiple rounds of egg freezing.
Danielle Bernstein, Brynn Whitfield, and
Lindsey Metselaarare a few other influencers/podcasters who very publicly shared and/or discussed their Egg Freezing/IVF process. I think the transparency is incredibly brave and vulnerable-but it’s important to mention the financial toll that it takes on the average person. Not only does the entire process (IVF Doctors, Nurses, medication, retrieval etc) cost around $40,000 in New York, but it also costs money to store your eggs or embryos each year. Almost like an additional rent payment you didn’t ask for.
In a perfect world I think that Egg Freezing and IVF should be covered by insurance. Every woman should have the opportunity to have an “insurance policy” on her fertility and whilst there’s no 100% guarantee that everything will work out and bring you your little miracle baby, there’s still comfort in knowing that you have options.
Of course a big part of me also wonders if some of these influencers had brand endorsements with these clinics and once again had a financial incentive to publicly share their journeys. And if you’re wondering why on earth I would think that it’s because brand deals go far beyond lavish clothes and trips to Bora Bora-oh yes they also expand as far as plastic surgery.
Plastic Surgeons will literally reach out to influencers and offer procedures in exchange for content. Which in my opinion (that no one asked for) is absolutely nuts BECAUSE if you’re going under the knife you should definitely do your due diligence with interviewing multiple doctors, researching, and so on.
So to conclude my rant: stressing over somebody else’s timeline or journey isn’t going to speed up your own.
