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4:02 AM: It’s 4 am the morning of surgery and I swear I haven’t been able to get a solid hour of sleep. The past 10 days have been an absolute whirl-wind between pre-surgical testing, preparation, and of course the COVID Test which is now a hospital requirement for obvious reasons. My breathing is getting worse, and my stress more and more elevated by the minute. I’ve already thought about having a cup of tea, popping in a grapefruit cough drop, and maybe chewing a piece of Orbit bubble mint gum (or two), all of which I can’t do before anesthesia. I can’t even put products on my face, wear nail polish, OR deodorant. We can call this my “Kayne West” meltdown..and if you haven’t read the headlines of the Dailymail the past few days then click here to get the gist.
Now that my vents over, let’s get into the gory details of the COVID Test. My test was a drive-through at 10:25 in the morning. There were two white tents. One was empty and the other one was filled with 6-7 nurses in hazmat gear. After driving into the empty tent, a nurse approached the opposite side of my car and asked for my name and ID. Once I showed her she walked over to my side and told me not to be scared. She said I look terrified (I was) and that it would be over before I knew it. She gave me a tissue, told me to close my windows, blow my nose, lower my mask (covering my mouth), and then re-open the windows for testing. She opened this (Ziploc like?) bag and pulled out a long (loooongg) white swab. Surprisingly the end of the swab (being stuck up my nose 10 inches) was flat and not fluffy like a q-tip. She said to count to three and stuck the swab up my nose. Now to my surprise, the counting didn’t start until (what felt like) 15 seconds in of waving this foreign (nonfluffy) object around the back of my left nostril. So the 3 seconds felt like eternity, but before closing the window I thanked her and asked how long the results would take. She told me that they only typically call you if there’s a problem (or a positive) within 12-16 hours.
Once that was over, I had to isolate until surgery. Now one would think after the pandemic that staying home for 48 hrs would be a breeze, but it really wasn’t. I felt lazy, bored, and well..even more stressed! I cleaned the house, changed the beds, did the laundry, started a Netflix documentary, and ate like a bodybuilder in bulking season.
The only thing I didn’t do was shower Bluebelle, which I might do this morning to keep my mind off of everything.
7:36 AM: It’s an absolute miracle and I managed to go back to sleep for an hour. Mainly because I put on a free youtube rom-com (from Prada To Nada-never heard of it? Nor had I …) which was so bad that I fell asleep 10 minutes in. I’m so thirsty that brushing my teeth felt like a novelty. Trying to pace myself so that the hours don’t continue to drag on and on and on..Important to mention that as I’m so forgetful (and routine-ish) I’ve placed post-it’s all over my house reminding myself no food, drink or gum.
10: 28 AM: My mums picking me up in about half an hour and i’m going to give Aspen a big squishy hug and kiss before surgery. I’m seriously starving and really thirsty. I normally eat breakfast at 6 AM. The IV is going to feel nice at this point. As the surgery could take anywhere from 4-6 hours I have a feeling that I won’t be eating much today. BUT just in case I have prepared my favorite overnight oats, and have some of my favorite chicken noodle soup from my favorite health store in the fridge.
10:43 AM: The time is dragging on now. I just want to get to the hospital and be checked in as it’s quite the Palava