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I gained 17 LBS freezing my eggs and I won’t shut up about it. Why? Because the average person on reddit gains 2-3 lbs. 2 days post op and the scales still creeping up, my Oura ring is alerting me of “major signs” meaning my biometrics are off. My MOTHER jeans don’t fit (oh the irony) and quite frankly I feel like a beached whale.
Except I’m now triggered by the word beach because I can’t even swim for two weeks.
The days leading up to my retrieval in NYC were interesting. At a routine scan and blood work I noticed a woman with her daughter who I was in treatment with when I was 16. What are the chances? the same place, the same time, 17 whole years later.
Many, many women are now speaking up about egg freezing, but what about the women who have a history like me? It adds another layer and another dynamic to why this is all so hard. Physically and mentally.
A few days before I was also fretting because I didn’t have a “medical escort” to accompany me. Thats right, I didn’t have a single friend that I could ask to be there for me. I was even asking on the “Next door” app if there was a company that did this. Could I pay someone to drive me, sign me out and drive me home post anesthesia?
Thankfully my mother was able to change her plans and drive. She picked me up at 5 am, and we drove into Manhattan. I was completely delusional as I hadn’t slept the night before, full of nerves and uncertainty. So much so that I had us park and turn up at the pre-op appointment location and not the hospital. Which resulted in me hysterically laughing on an empty 8th floor in the middle of Manhattan.
2 weeks of estrogen priming, and 18 days of 3-4 injections a day. Every injection, needle and medication had it’s place in a caddy that I had set up in my office. Each night I would scroll on TikTok, typing “Egg Freezing” in the search bar, and videos of couples doing this together would flood my feed.
It was almost as toxic as typing in an ex’s name on instagram. A constant reminder that I was 33 and single.
I think I weighed myself twice the entire time. I did my due diligence with supplements (Cq12, Prenatals, Selenium etc), read books, cut out alcohol, and did everything I possibly could to support my body.
In all honesty, it wasn’t hard until after. The hormone crash, the bloated stomach, and the results.
8 eggs retrieved, 2 immature, 1 degenerate and 5 frozen. And yes I had to ask chat GTP what a degenerate egg even meant.
My DR (who was fantastic) would say that with my AMH being so drastically low, this was a fantastic result. She warned me that getting 10 eggs (which is around a 30-40% chance of one viable baby) would take a few rounds.
Yet here I was disappointed and swollen.
I also want to emphasize that I did not freeze embryos. The difference is that embryos are fertilized eggs (which have a much better survival rate). 5 frozen embryos would be wonderful and a much different thing.
As I’m a singe woman I only froze eggs, in hopes that when I get married and find my person, we have the option to use those eggs if necessary. By no means do I want to be a single mother again. I’ve been there, done that and it’s the hardest job in the world.
I made light of the situation by posting my journey on the internet. Sharing every thought, hurdle and emotion. At 3 days post-ER I can say that i’m really proud of myself and my body. I’m also really grateful for such a supportive community that kept me going the entire time.
I still haven’t decided if i’m going to do another round as it’s taken such a toll on my body. But we will see what my doctor says at my next appointment.
xo A Puffy and Emotional Mercedes
